I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
