yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
