We're like a lot better than the average bears
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
