She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
