She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
