I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
