My room smells like vodka and shame
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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