I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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