You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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