Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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