im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
