Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
My room smells like vodka and shame
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
