There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
