Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
