In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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