i permit you to call me
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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