OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
