Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
