Whod you bang
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
