What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm experimenting with sincerity
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
