3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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