yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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