We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Randomize
