she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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