I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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