I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
