and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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