i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
