Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
