Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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