I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Randomize
