brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
