i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
