The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
i now understand why vodka
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
