It's just like the Real World with babies
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
