Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
