Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
