What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
