Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
