This is not my ceiling
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
