Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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