Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
