Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
