Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
