found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
