Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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