your thong is hanging out like whoa
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
