My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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