on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
