Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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